Again, my week turned out much different than i had planned. Some personal matters have been happening that i need to take care of. I’m hoping Dad can take me downtown to apply for jobs this week.
I may or may not be getting rid of my bunnies soon, which is sad and confusing at the same time. I’m not sure if i should be sad i’m losing them or hopeful that i may keep them. sigh.
One of my little dears got a wee bit sick so my Mum, Sister and I have been nurturing him back to health. He has gotten much better, thank goodness.
Lately, life has been pretty hard. Some days it felt almost impossible to have hope… some days I didn’t even want to smile anymore. When it gets like this i always think about the last time i thought everything was too hard.. and honestly, i realize the last time really wasn’t as bad as i thought. So, I decided to encourage myself to say “no” to the negative thoughts, let myself smile and break down in silly giggles every once and awhile. It’s really helping.. it’s getting easier to sincerely smile every day.
I’m starting to feel hopeful, bubbly and full of joy again. I haven’t since Summer came to an end.. everything has been so tense and gloomy in my home.. and i really don’t like it. I’ve spent so much time being sad, crying myself to sleep, focusing on the negative and closing my feelings off from people. I really don’t want that anymore… I miss my smiling face and the brightness i was told i always brought with me when i entered a room. I won’t hold on to stress, sadness and anxiety anymore… I’m going to be happy.
I love the feeling of peace washing over me as i make this decision.. i’m even smiling hehe 🙂
So, i’ll do my best to be positive from now on.. no more “I can’t” and “It’s too hard”. When i wake up in the morning, i’m going to look at myself in the mirror and say “Always remember to smile.”